Something to get excited about!

For those of you that have no idea, over the past few months I've gradually become somewhat of a "runner"....(I use quotations since I have my own definition of the word)...I've always been a high/low kind of lady, you know, run consistently for 2 days and then "get too busy" for a running schedule! Well, I've realized that an attitude like that not only doesn't get me anywhere physically, but it also keeps me from the opportunity to learn some valuable lessons on how to discipline my mind and body. I've begun to use the phrase "mind over matter" a lot because it helps me remember that sometimes it's really just a matter of deciding to keep going that gets me to the end. I've become very familar with my personal vomit stages...these are the points where my body screams, "That's it! We can't go another step...we're going to vomit!"....I used to be completely intimidated by these thoughts and succumb to them...but not anymore! See, when I started thinking it through I realized that I've never actually vomited when running...EVER! So I've made the conscious decision to put these thoughts out of my head when they come after me and to keep on truckin'!

I put this brilliantly new concept into practice yesterday....and conquered 2 miles without a single stop!!! (That's incredible for me) It felt so great!! It wasn't only my body that felt good, but it was a good feeling knowing that I'd accomplished what I set out to do!

This is just like an every day battle with our sin, isn't it? We know what's right to do, but when it comes down to really doing it our minds scream "lies" at us about our inabilities and weaknesses or the enemy takes the opportunity to remind us of our past failures and fears...."lies" that are really true without the hope and strength found at the cross of Christ. We can stop when we hear these things and decide that we're through...OR we can "let patience have its PERFECT work"(James 1:4) and choose to recognize the victory we already have in Christ!! That doesn't mean that we've won the battle once we've recognized it for what it is....we have to persevere, fighting all the way to the end! (I have to actually run the 2 miles to conquer my goal) We can only do this by submitting ourselves to the work that God intends for us...whatever it may be...we may end up vomiting, but nevertheless, in the end we will be "perfect and complete lacking nothing"!

That's something to get excited about!

A really long summary...

Once again, I've managed to live another lifetime since my last blog post! So much has changed in my life in the past week or two! For those of you that have not yet heard the scoop...I have an amazing man and new best friend in my life now!

His name is John Ryan Seaman. We've been friends for a few years but it wasn't until the beginning of 2008 that I became really interested in being a part of his life. I lived in Corpus Christi at the time (with his family actually...what a coincidence!)...he was living in Brownwood going to school. I had known of his strong character and love of the Savior for a long time, but for most of that time I had looked at him from the perspective of a sister or just a close friend. I don't remember the exact moment when my affections toward him began to change, but for a few months I would say things like, "I just want to be with someone like John Ryan!"..."If only I could find someone that had EVERYTHING on my list like JR does!"...My parents were in on it, we talked quite a bit about it! After going through a difficult time in my relationship with my parents some 2 years ago, I made the decision to actively include them in my emotional attachments...for my own protection and in my attempt to honor their position in my life as my leaders. So, as awkward as it was at first, we worked hard at communicating on more of a heart level...(I have never regretted their involvement. They are full of wisdom and I am so blessed to have their love)...

At some point in the course of these conversations I began to pray seriously about my potential role in John Ryan's life....of course, I didn't think he had a clue about where I was! I had aquired plenty enough information to be convinced that he was exactly the kind of man I desired...So began a long prayer journey for me that has really only just begun...

What I didn't know...

In June, John Ryan had a "secret" conversation with my parents where he expressed to them his interest in me but was unsure where to go from there...so began a long journey for them that I knew nothing about until this past weekend...

I went in to the office on Thursday, Jan. 15th (it's so much more fun to know the dates, right?) and my parents had just come out of a session and asked to speak with me. I, like the great assistant that I am (ha), asked if I should bring along a pen and paper....Dad said I might want to. So, I'm in total work mode! We sit down and Dad goes on to tell me that this meeting has nothing to do with work, but that he and mom thought it was time to include me in the "process"...(one of my dad's favorite words!). In this conversation, I discovered the facts about the "secret" convo in June and and some of what's been going on without me! I was shocked and overjoyed! My parents walked with John Ryan for long enough to understand my respect for him! They had nothing but amazing things to say about his patience and strong character! They asked me if I felt ready to go to the next step with him....to which I answered, "HECK YES, I AM!"...from there, John Ryan was given the freedom to begin his active pursuit!

He came into town on Friday and we were able to discuss, for the first time, everything we'd been holding back for so long! There was such freedom and peace in our conversation! It was so wonderful to hear his heart to honor God and to protect me by waiting for the right time to act! What a great man! I have a lot of respect for him!!

What has been a true blessing to me is how hard my parents and JR both worked to make sure my emotions remain protected. They knew my weaknesses and went to great lengths to shield my from potential hurt or disappointment. I am so grateful for our story and I am excited to see what God plans to do with us from here on out...we're so ready!